In Y/N by Esther Yi, the main character is tired of experiencing reality as that which happens strictly to her and makes a K-Pop idol the new center of her world.
Location: Berlin and Seoul
Y/N synopsis
Surreal, hilarious, and shrewdly poignant—a novel about a Korean American woman living in Berlin whose obsession with a K-pop idol sends her to Seoul on a journey of literary self-destruction.
It’s as if her life only began once Moon appeared in it. The desultory copywriting work, the boyfriend, and the want of anything not-Moon quickly fall away when she beholds the idol in concert, where Moon dances as if his movements are creating their own gravitational field; on live streams, as fans from around the world comment in dozens of languages; even on skincare products endorsed by the wildly popular Korean boyband, of which Moon is the youngest, most luminous member. Seized by ineffable desire, our unnamed narrator begins writing Y/N fanfic—in which you, the reader, insert [Your/Name] and play out an intimate relationship with the unattainable star.
Then Moon suddenly retires, vanishing from the public eye. As Y/N flies from Berlin to Seoul to be with Moon, our narrator, too, journeys to Korea in search of the object of her love. An escalating series of mistranslations and misidentifications lands her at the headquarters of the Kafkaesque entertainment company that manages the boyband until, at a secret location, together with Moon at last, art and real life approach their final convergence.
From a conspicuous new talent comes Y/N, a provocative literary debut about the universal longing for transcendence and the tragic struggle to assert one’s singular story amidst the amnesiac effects of globalization. Crackling with the intellectual sensitivity of Elif Batuman and the sinewy absurdism of Thomas Pynchon, Esther Yi’s prose unsettles the boundary between high and mass art, exploding our expectations of a novel about “identity” and offering in its place a sui generis picture of the loneliness that afflicts modern life.
Book review
Everyone needs something or someone to fantasize about, right? The opening chapter is very relatable to anyone who has ever attended a K-Pop concert and felt the energy of an obsessed and idolized crowd around them. I feel like I’m going to indulge in a guilty pleasure read by reading this book.
Fangirling
The obsession is described in a believable way and the book pulled me right in. Y/N is full of sensual musings, but the nature of the wanting is more layered than it first appears. It doesn’t take long for daydreams and fan fiction to mingle with reality, giving rise to a serious case of vicarious shame.
There are plenty of scenes that made me laugh, although many of them are not that funny at heart. In one such scene, Mercury is a vessel for the fans’ comments and expresses them in front of Moon. The desire for romantic love is juxtaposed with worship and getting to know a person platonically.
Kafka in Seoul
There is a quote that really resonated with me because it expresses several desires at once: “I’m tired of experiencing reality as that which happens strictly to me.” I would almost say this is a reason, an excuse, a summary and an expression of social responsibility all at the same time.
What also appeals to me are the conversations about going all-in to achieve your dreams, regardless of the nature of the dream in question. The main character is guided to persevere no matter what. On her journey, she meets a group of eccentric people, all with their own passions. Their encounters (called Kafkaesque in the blurb) broaden the scope of the novel and draw attention to things happening in society.
The idol carries your name
The concepts of unknown and unremarkable are juxtaposed against special and famous, and yet, at the headquarters of the boyband there is only a thin line between both. What’s left to give an impulse to the creative process when you empty someone out and the world uses that person until he or she is used up?
Who says this is still about the idol? It’s about you, so insert Y(our)/N(ame) where applicable and start reading.
Final thoughts
What a wonderful journey Esther Yi took me on. Reading this book feels like following a fantasy that most people would hide deep within themselves rather than pursue. You’re living a life of fiction: you are the main character in your own story. There is so much more to this book than the obsession with an idol from a K-Pop boyband. This is one of the more unique books to look out for in 2023!
Interested?
Pre-order your copy of Y/N from Amazon (available 21 March 2023).
Book details
Title: Y/N
Author: Esther Yi
Language: English
Publisher: Astra Publishing House
Pages: 224
ISBN (13): 9781662601538
Publication date: 21 March 2023
About the author
Esther Yi was born in Los Angeles in 1989 and currently lives in Leipzig, Germany.
Many thanks to Astra Publishing House and NetGalley for a digital ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review.
